Most People Do Not Listen With The Intent To Understand

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“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Parents are so keen on hearing their small tots speak for the first time. In fact, kids who learned to speak early on their lives are perceived as more cognitively advanced than their babbling peers. Interestingly, the act of listening is not given much credit despite the effort to hold one’s tongue and let the other person finish, regardless of whether or not they’re making sense.

Good listening is rarely thought in school or at home, and that is why active listeners belong to the growing list of endangered species. Bernard Ferrari, author of “Power Listening: Mastering the Most Critical Business Skill of All” says that good listening plays a big part in developing fresh insights and ideas that lead to success. Unfortunately, most people focus solely in learning how to communicate effectively. Although talking shows a person’s intelligence, it’s through listening attentively that one’s sincerity and character are revealed.

Ferrari writes in an article for McKinsley Quarterly the three kinds of behaviour that play major roles in the having a good ear: being respectful, talking less, and challenging assumptions. Without these three, conflict and misunderstanding may arise out of nowhere. It sounds so easy yet sometimes people are too eager to express their own thoughts that they dominate the discussion, making the other person feel disrespected.

The more you listen, the more able you are to make informed decisions. Most importantly, it also minimizes conflicts in your life as you seek to understand people better before opening your mouth.