Some People Aren’t Loyal To You

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“Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their need changes, so does their loyalty.”

They say that loyalty is a rare commodity. With our own selfish desires, it’s sometimes easier to betray people in order to get what we want than to stick with them through thick or thin. Psychologists and philosophers alike have struggled to pinpoint the essence of this virtue and more importantly, why it is dying.

Perhaps the question should be: what is human relationship? How do two people decide to stick with each other? Is it really based on love or are human relationships just another tool to satisfy selfish human needs? Why do relationships end? To deeply understand loyalty, we need to dissect the core of human relationships.

Pragmatists, or people who don’t have any fixed set of ideals and principles, find it easier to break free from relationships. Sometimes, we stick with someone just for the sake of being loyal and that’s how loyalty got its bad rap: people think of it as life imprisonment. In the real world, people’s needs change as they age and advance in life. And yes, it does affect how they see and value their partners.

However, American philosopher and writer Cornel West wrote, “We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” A genuine relationship relies not on temporary emotions but on virtues that demands higher understanding and responsibility. When these virtues are present in a relationship, loyalty becomes a choice, not an obligation.