You Don’t Owe It To Anyone

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“You don’t owe it to anyone to stay the same person you’ve always been.
You don’t owe that to your friends, your family, or anyone else.
You are 100% free to start changing your life right now.
You should never apologize to anyone for changing your life for the better.” – BradP

The desire to change is more often than not, a challenging, gradual process for adults. Psychologists caIl it “reduced plasticity” or one’s reduced capacity to change as they reach 30.

In his Psychology Today article, Prof. Adrian Furnham lists down these 6 common reasons for adults to seriously ponder change: loss, illness, insoluble conflict, unfulfilled dreams, inauthenticity, and trauma. Events like losing a job, being diagnosed with serious illness, and whatnot, drive adults to turn their lives around.
Dr. Joseph Burgo, author of “Why Do I Do That, Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives” believes in the power of choice as the driving factor of change. It’s either one does things automatically or one chooses to develop a healthier, more beneficial routine.

Positive psychologists have found out that certain traits such kindness, vitality, loyalty, etc. are habits that can be learned by anyone. Psychology professor Christopher Peterson remarks that even though changing one’s personality takes a lot of effort and determination, it will ultimately feel like second nature. Introverts like Abraham Lincoln, Dale Carnegie, David Letterman, Barbara Walters have proven that people can develop certain traits for a chosen field.

Optimism can also be learned, as apparent in the lives of pessimists-turned-optimists. Psychologists believe that cognitive habits that produce optimism can be developed, but first, there should be an understanding of its true nature. According to Prof. Suzanne Segerstrom of the University of Kentucky, optimism is more than positive thinking; it has more to do with acting positively.